Saturday mornings hold a special place in my heart where I can doze well beyond the usual 6am wake-up tune of my alarm clock, where I roll over and stretch in the warm sun that has actually risen before me, and open my eyes to find that my handsome husband has brought me coffee in bed on a tray with a bright yellow sunflower!  After sipping my just-right cup of vanilla-Java while meditating on my day to the sound of singing birds and the scent of freshly cut grass, my giggling children all enter the bedroom carrying a tray of freshly baked blueberry pancakes with a hunk of salted butter melting underneath the hot maple syrup!  They all take turns handing me something special: a sweet hand-made card from my youngest, my favorite pair of fuzzy-socks from my second-born, and a completed chore list from my oldest with all of the household jobs already finished for the day...
    And then I hear the leaf-blower next door and the sound of the neighbor's car alarm wakes me up from my real stupor, at which point I rub my sleep-encrusted eyes to find that I've stayed in bed snoozing well beyond the point of sleeping-in as noted by the loud chorus of "Who lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea" drifting up the staircase.  I reach into my dresser to get my favorite Saturday morning fuzzy-socks, only to find that one is missing.  After groping around the foot of my bed I manage to locate the other sock rolled up under my covers where it had been forgotten since last weekend.  One clean fuzzy-sock & his dirty twin now on my feet, I head downstairs to see who else is up & if they have made coffee yet.  I find that my handsome husband, ever the over-achiever, has risen promptly at 5am, and all that is left of the joe is no longer hot & has some grounds in it, but I heat it up in the microwave anyhow & turn to survey the damage.  Either Krusteaz pancake mix has had a late-night party with his pals Aunt Jemima & Mrs. Butterworth, or my tween daughters (not twin,  but tween, as in not yet teen, or in-between) have been baking breakfast again, because there is batter dripping from the side of the waffle-iron & onto the floor which I discover is now also on the bottom of my one clean sock.  My youngest is happily pouring his third bowl of Frosted Flakes, strictly reserved for weekends, while simultaneously drawing pictures of Spongebob Squarepants, which he must be rather fast at because they litter the living room & dining room floor like confetti on New years.  So, I locate & kiss each one of my family members good morning & rally the troops together over my cup-a-sludge to discuss the slated, yet dreaded,  Saturday Morning Job list.  
    Monday through Friday there is work, school, sports, spin class, and meetings to attend.  The evenings consist of homework, dinner, baths, reading, and television shows that probably are a total waste of time which is why we love them, like American Idol!  So when Saturday morning arrives, despite our best efforts to keep a tidy house throughout the week, we wake to find that the dust has settled an inch thick on every appliance, the bathroom bowls are not gleaming, and the garage requires nothing short of a snow-shovel to get through the piles of shoes, backpacks, and sporting equipment piled outside the laundry-room door, which is also over-flowing with it's own smelly loads!  Since I don't really own a Self-Cleaning Home, that leaves just one one thing to do:  clean-up the house, which is very different than picking-up the house, before anyone is really allowed to chill & enjoy their Saturday.  Given the fact that I seem to be the only one not immune to the stench of old milk, full trash cans, and sweaty t-shirts, I can understand why they all let me sleep in so late on Saturday mornings!  It is  like they have their own Secret Saturday Society of Stinkyness and the number one club rule is Don't wake mom, she'll make us clean!  
    In a perfect world things would always stay clean, but then again, we wouldn't appreciate clean unless we really knew dirty in the first place!  My kids are hard workers once I get them a-workin', and so we get the usual done because we know that we have to.  And though there may be quite a bit of grumbling at the get-go, every one settles into their tasks with gusto once the jobs get going.  We get some great music channels on TV that play very different stuff than our local radio stations and without all of the commercials, so I like to put it on the Dance Music Channel to put a swing in the sweeping, and a disco in the dusting!  In the end, Saturday morning chores make a good transition from work-week to week-end, and we're always proud of our clean home & ready let-loose once the litter-load has been lightened!

    -cheers!

The Woolite Rug Stick can remove pet & people messes in a snap, & the smell is good too! www.amazon.com

To remove those ugly marks from the doors, walls & baseboards, give one of these to each kid & have them scrub those marks that are below the height of your waist!  That will save your walls & your back!  www.walgreens.com

The Water Diet?
Are you kidding me?  How can over-consuming anything, even something healthy like water, possibly be that good for you, even if you are a water-sign?  There are some bizarre rituals out there that worship the Goddess Slendora, and we are at the ready to make sacrifices at her alter, aren't we ladies?  Eating too much meat, eating no meat, weighing food, journaling calories...it is all just so exhausting!  I have been digesting vast amounts of...information about the various diet plans out there, even ones that claim to base your caloric needs upon your particular genome type (based on your answers to a couple of odd questions that completely got my body-type wrong, by the way!) , and have come to the same conclusion that I had before I began.  The Goddess Slendora is an evil sorceress who laughs at your sacrifices & tortures you with her wicked lies!  There is absolutely no need to fall prey to the many games out there intended to rob you of your money, your time, and your self-esteem!  They may claim to rob you of your fat, but it is truly the former that they're after, and we are just good little consumers that innocently play along!  What if there was another game out there to play, and this one didn't leave you feeling dizzy, tired, confused, or hungry?  Let's now visit the less-popular Goddess Regula!  She will not be found on Entertainment Tonight or adorning the sides of high-fiber cereal boxes, but underneath your covers beckoning you to rest a while.  You see, your body has nutritional needs, but those are not the only needs that will make you a healthier person.  Did you know that sleep plays such a huge role in your health & therefore your weight?  That just by going to bed at the same time every evening & rising at the same time every morning you can help to regulate carb cravings, especially that 11pm nacho fix that makes you feel so guilty the next morning!  When you are over-tired during the day, that causes food cravings as well, so just by being well rested to a particular schedule you should consume less crap!  I can live with more sleep & less junk food, no problem!  Not to mention the fact that the more your body gets used to those 8 restful hours of pure peace, it gets easier to fall asleep each night at the same time without that to-do list playing ping-pong in your mind!  As you begin to get used to rising at the same time each day, you will also find that it's easier to drag your tired butt out from under the protection of the womb of covers & blankies that you're all wrapped up in!  Since you are now regulating your sleep patterns, you suddenly realize one afternoon that you are less tired, & don't necessarily crave that crunch-a-lunch bar you're automatically used to cramming down every afternoon at 2:00.  Perhaps you even feel like working out later, which couldn't hurt your health unless you hit the gym as hard as you're used to hitting the sofa late at night!  So you start slow, perhaps walking on the treadmill while watching the nightly news with Tom Brokaw...taking in Oprah...catching up with Talk Soup...whatever!  After a few days, this casual 1/2 hour of movement makes you surprisingly crave different foods with your dinner, like fresh steamed asparagus with a squeeze of lemon, and lightly salted edamame, not to mention the fact that you're effortlessly drinking that water because you're truly thirsty, not because you're water-dieting!  So it goes, until after a few weeks you're getting dressed & suddenly find that your pants fit differently & you're shocked because you never went on a diet!  Such is the magic of the great Mystic Regula, who likes to sprinkle lavender leaves on your pillow and innocently offers crunchy carrot sticks at 2pm!  She is less popular because there is no money to be made in joining her cult!  She follows the effortless rhythms of nature happily singing her own tune, while at the same time the evil Sorceress Slendora is after your very heart & soul, not to mention your checkbook!  So, is it possible to lose weight without thinking about it, or do you have to hang a pair of skinny-jeans from the fridge & fill your glove box with 100 calorie snacks that have 0 nutritional value like the TV ads tell you?  Just decide which side would you rather be on...but remember that diet is spelled DIE-t...
-Cheers

-Go ahead & indulge in that Strawberry Milkshake before bed, just do it in the tub with Philosophy's 3-in-1 shampoo, body wash, bubble bath www1.macys.com


-Next, slip into the Frankie & Johnny Blue Dottie Lounger Pajama to help you fall effortlessly into slumber www.sleepyheads.com

  Bite-size choco-chips nestled inside of freshly baked banana bread on an autumn afternoon...Creamy little cups of steaming hot cocoa on a chilly winter day...ribbon-wrapped white-chocolate rabbits in a springtime Easter basket... frozen fudgie pops on a hot summer night...any time of the year is a good time for a little chocolate lovin'!  
    But as much as you love your chocolate, did you know that it was really loving you back this whole time?  (To varying degrees, of course.)  This does not include the artificial, waxy, cheap-chocolates that you typically find displayed around the holidays in fun-colored foil.  No, the true chocolate that loves-you-back is deep and mysterious.  It is  dark in color, rich in antioxidants.  It is firm in texture and breaks into chunks with an audible snap, because it's lower in fats.  It has a rich flavor, so that it can be savored in smaller quantities, making you satisfied with less. Chocolate has many other health benefits as well, some of which I don't scientifically understand, but that I can relate to every month when the moon is full.  Yes, I will include a link for you if you want to read further into the chemical properties of chocolate & their effect on the human brain, (http://www.deliverychicks.com/Chick_Click.html )but you will definetely have to go somewhere else for that.  For you see, I know that I don't have to explain to you the mysterious connection between women & chocolate.  Don't misunderstand me, I do not live for candy, nor do I eat it every day, However...when the time is right & I am in the mood, just watch out & don't get in the way between me & my cocoa-latte fix!  
    So the next time you find yourself craving a little cocoa bean, when you know you're needing some nougaty-goodness, when you just have to have that Hershey bar...go all out, girlfriend!   Gather up the girlies, some red wine, and a great recipe for one evening of pure indulgence.  If we're going to do this once a month, ladies, let's do it right! 


Wine and Chocolove List:

-Have each guest bring a bottle of different wine & a yummy desert! 

Almost Better Than Sex Cake (I don't know if it's THAT good, but this cake is pretty tasty!)

16 servings

1 german chocolate cake mix
1 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 14 oz. can sweetened condensed milk
caramel topping
12 ounces Cool Whip
3 heath bars, crushed

Heat oven to 350 F. Grease and flour 9 x 13 inch pan. Prepare cake mix as directed on package; pour into prepared pan. After 10 minutes of baking, sprinkle with chocolate chips. Continue baking until cake is done. While cake is still hot, poke holes in it with handle of wooden spoon. Pour sweetened condensed milk over cake; let cool. Top with caramel sauce, then whipped topping. Sprinkle with candy bars.

When it comes to being green, envy is not the most appealing of images.  Neither is the thought of turning green from the sensation that comes with mixing roller coaster rides and corn dogs.  Rather, being Green is now considered a lifestyle choice.  It is a way of life that is good for the environment & future generations that actually want to have an environment in which to grow up!  There are so many choices on the shelf at the market that cry out to our hearts "protect the planet" and warn our wallets "Buy generic, lady, I'm expensive".  These very simple cleansers, cottons, and other miscellaneous home items advertise that they are "better for the earth"  than their less-expensive counter-parts, and while that may be true, I just don't believe that you can simply purchase the concept of "being green".  It is something that has to speak to your spirit and whisper in your ear not to be wasteful while you're cleaning out the fridge, or in a hurry.  Green is not glamorous, it is an overflowing recycle bin in the garage that sometimes smells because the kids forgot to rinse out the last of the milk from the #2 plastic jug!  Going green is not about walking through the produce aisle snubbing ordinary fruits and veggies shining happily in their pesticide-encased waxed-coatings.  Sure, buying organic will put less chemicals into the earth, but it is possible to wash off those toxins, if you take the time to do it right.  There are some fruits like strawberries that are so porous it is actually better to buy organic.  But some things that are peeled, like bananas, are OK to pluck from the practical produce aisle.  If you think that I'm missing the point behind sustainable farming, you're wrong.  It is just that I recognize the difference between going extreme (which is usually expensive) and going green, which is rational.  It is possible to make simple choices that won't raise your budget by a couple of hundred extra dollars each month, or even the hundreds of thousands of dollars that a major over-haul would cost in the form of solar panels, low-water washer & dryer, or hybrid car.  My point is that even if you don't have it in your budget to replace all of your linens with organic cotton (I think it must be made from recycled twenty-dollar bills...), buy all organic whole foods from a snobby supermarket, or upgrade your entire power-consuming necessities, you can still maintain a greener way of life!  Here are a few simple solutions to minimize waste, just in time for March! 
Take out less trash Part 1
We've all heard of ditching the plastic shopping bags for cloth, but how many of us have actually done it?  If you don't want to pay $15 for an organic cotton bag with that trendy Recycle logo on the side, just jet over to your local craft department!  The natural-cotton-canvas bags go for about $3 apiece, so for the same cost as that over-rated green logo, you get five bags for the price of one!  Whatever doesn't fit into your five bags at the store, go ahead & have it put into plastic ones, just be sure to use them as trash bags later on during the week. 

Take out less trash Part 2
Spend Saturdays getting Green!  Measure out two plots in the backyard, 3x3 feet.  Gather found items, such as natural rocks, old railroad ties, or worn tires.  Scrounge a salvage yard for old doors, windows, lumber,  or siding.  Now recycle these items into edging for your plots of earth.  (Windows make great green-house-style lids in early spring!)  Dig, rake, & till your dirt, adding potting soil, compost & mulch to one bed, and layering clippings, leaves, kitchen waste & dirt in the other.  Water both, & you now have a garden & a compost pile!  Plant veggies & flowers & you have created Free Organic Produce!  Keep a bucket with a lid under the kitchen sink for salad clippings, coffee grounds, & egg shells.  At the end of the week, spread onto the compost pile, layer with dirt & dried clippings & repeat!  By the end of the growing season, churn this into your garden for terrific home-grown soil! 

Take out less trash Part 3
Repurpose three old plastic crates or tubs as recycle bins in the garage!  Then you have to actually use them!  Wash out plastic & glass containers, and remove labels from cans & wash thoroughly before placing in bins.  This will not only keep the smell down, but will make these items easier to recycle!  Don't just put newspaper in there, either, recycle old magazines & you kids schoolwork, too!  Junk mail goes in there too!  If you have a shredder, your important documents can either go into the mulch pile, compost heap, or paper-recycle bin!  Now that is re-using! 

The house was dark, all was quiet, and my tummy had me wandering into the kitchen looking for a little somethin' somethin'.  I love my monster cookies, and I was having a craving at, oh, around about midnight!  When I went to the pantry, I found nothing there to satisfy my craving:  a box of jello, raisin bran, Spaghetti noodles, and a couple of cans of Campbell's just weren't doing it for me!  I considered making popcorn, but didn't want to wake up the entire house with the hot-air popper!  Upon opening the fridge, I found the remains of Sunday night's pot roast, now permanently encased in a layer of lard that I seem to remember on Sunday as a sumptuous broth.  Someone had evidently decided to sneak a peek at the salad earlier, because the plastic wrap was partially off, & the lettuce leaves were a little wilty.  In the door were several pots of mystery sauces with fancy names like cilantro-walnut pesto & orange lavender sauce that had me shuddering in my slippers.   The freezer didn't reveal much, either:  frozen spinach, raw mystery-meats in various freezer bags for convenient packaging ( next time I'll have to label those...), and the infamous empty ice-cream carton that has the ice crystals in the bottom my children just don't seem to want to throw away, but yet that can't be scraped off the bottom of the container even with a metal spatula...I know, I've tried.  Upon looking around despondently, there was only one thing left to do.  I opened the baking cupboard & raided my supplies!  I had no chocolate chips, but there were white chips from fudge made at Christmas.  I even had half-a-bag of red & green M-n-M's that had somehow managed to survive for almost 4 weeks like a refuge on the shelf, without being discovered & devoured!  Then I located the mint chips, and that creamy mint green color was calling to me!  There was just one thing missing from my crafty concoction, the main ingredient to any late-night craving:  Dark Chocolate!  One final delve into the depths of my kitchen drawer & out came a box of dark cocoa powder.  With excitement, by the light of the stove, I began measuring & mixing like Dr. Jekyll with his creation...I'm sure with the bed-head & robe, from behind we probably looked similar too.  Before long, the Midnight Monster Cookies were born, and WOW, they were dreamier than anything I could've imagined in my midnight stupor!  Not only were they created around midnight, but they are also as black as midnight.  Now, if there is one thing that I love more than a cookie, it's a cookie with a hot cup of coffee.  By the time the first batch went into the oven, it was something-in-the-morning o-clock, so I figured why not brew the java?  It's 5am somewhere, right?  A little late-night latte, and a large, warm midnight monster cookie later, and I was curled up on the couch sleeping like a baby!  May my midnight monster cookies bring you sweet dreams as well!

-Cheers


MIDNIGHT MONSTER COOKIES:


2 cups shortening
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 cup vanilla soy milk or buttermilk
1 1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup dark cocoa powder
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
3 cups quick oats
1/2 cup m-n-m's
1/2 cup white chocolate chips
1/2 cup mint chocolate chips

    Mix it all up, baby, & bake by the BIG BATCH, about 8 at a time!  400* oven, 10 minutes, then let 'em rest a few
Yummy! 

Note:
Best eaten warm at midnight! 

At the first of the year, when everything seems fresh & brand new, we are tempted to make these commitments for the year that are intended to make our lives better.  For most people that means giving things up...things that they love!  Now why, if we want to make things better, do we feel we have to go without things that we have come to love?  Can't there be some middle ground in life, a way of balancing out the things that we tend to overindulge in with the things that we neglect?  The approach is simply this:  rather than think about the negative item (i.e. "I'm going to subtract this from my life")  emphasize the positive item (i.e. "I'm going to add this to my life!").  Naturally, by adding more of what you are lacking, the habits that you have developed will have less of an impact in your life, thereby creating balance & harmony.  When we strive to just remove something without filling that void, there is left behind this empty, very obvious moment when we are faced with do-or-deny.  For many of us, that eventually leads to Do, which sets up bad patterns & habits.  Worse than the original habit that we intended to rid from our lives, now we associate ourselves with failure to follow-through, or lack of self-control.  Unfortunately, these subconscious realizations can sometimes be carried over into other areas of our lives, without a conscious clue as to why we continue to feel like we're "failing".  It's really just a twisted cycle that needs to be straightened out.  The way to straighten it is to find that middle line that you can walk:  it is called BALANCE, and nothing else in life will make you feel better about yourself than being able to balance what you need with what you want.  
        I can think of many, wonderful things that this life has to offer that I should indulge in more.  I think I will select a few of them for the year to freshen my life up & give me a new perspective.  Perhapsas I learn a few new things, I will spend less time on my old bad habits & they'll eventually fade into the distance.  After all, the way to rid oneself of something is to not focus on it, right?  I shall quit giving "junk" too much attention, & spend more of my valuable time  on things that I Want in my life!  Balance is naturally bound to follow! 

-CHEERS



TUBBS Sojourn Snowshoes-  Get out there! www.rei.com
 



          Glorious  Foxgloves www.parkseed.com