The Water Diet?
Are you kidding me?  How can over-consuming anything, even something healthy like water, possibly be that good for you, even if you are a water-sign?  There are some bizarre rituals out there that worship the Goddess Slendora, and we are at the ready to make sacrifices at her alter, aren't we ladies?  Eating too much meat, eating no meat, weighing food, journaling calories...it is all just so exhausting!  I have been digesting vast amounts of...information about the various diet plans out there, even ones that claim to base your caloric needs upon your particular genome type (based on your answers to a couple of odd questions that completely got my body-type wrong, by the way!) , and have come to the same conclusion that I had before I began.  The Goddess Slendora is an evil sorceress who laughs at your sacrifices & tortures you with her wicked lies!  There is absolutely no need to fall prey to the many games out there intended to rob you of your money, your time, and your self-esteem!  They may claim to rob you of your fat, but it is truly the former that they're after, and we are just good little consumers that innocently play along!  What if there was another game out there to play, and this one didn't leave you feeling dizzy, tired, confused, or hungry?  Let's now visit the less-popular Goddess Regula!  She will not be found on Entertainment Tonight or adorning the sides of high-fiber cereal boxes, but underneath your covers beckoning you to rest a while.  You see, your body has nutritional needs, but those are not the only needs that will make you a healthier person.  Did you know that sleep plays such a huge role in your health & therefore your weight?  That just by going to bed at the same time every evening & rising at the same time every morning you can help to regulate carb cravings, especially that 11pm nacho fix that makes you feel so guilty the next morning!  When you are over-tired during the day, that causes food cravings as well, so just by being well rested to a particular schedule you should consume less crap!  I can live with more sleep & less junk food, no problem!  Not to mention the fact that the more your body gets used to those 8 restful hours of pure peace, it gets easier to fall asleep each night at the same time without that to-do list playing ping-pong in your mind!  As you begin to get used to rising at the same time each day, you will also find that it's easier to drag your tired butt out from under the protection of the womb of covers & blankies that you're all wrapped up in!  Since you are now regulating your sleep patterns, you suddenly realize one afternoon that you are less tired, & don't necessarily crave that crunch-a-lunch bar you're automatically used to cramming down every afternoon at 2:00.  Perhaps you even feel like working out later, which couldn't hurt your health unless you hit the gym as hard as you're used to hitting the sofa late at night!  So you start slow, perhaps walking on the treadmill while watching the nightly news with Tom Brokaw...taking in Oprah...catching up with Talk Soup...whatever!  After a few days, this casual 1/2 hour of movement makes you surprisingly crave different foods with your dinner, like fresh steamed asparagus with a squeeze of lemon, and lightly salted edamame, not to mention the fact that you're effortlessly drinking that water because you're truly thirsty, not because you're water-dieting!  So it goes, until after a few weeks you're getting dressed & suddenly find that your pants fit differently & you're shocked because you never went on a diet!  Such is the magic of the great Mystic Regula, who likes to sprinkle lavender leaves on your pillow and innocently offers crunchy carrot sticks at 2pm!  She is less popular because there is no money to be made in joining her cult!  She follows the effortless rhythms of nature happily singing her own tune, while at the same time the evil Sorceress Slendora is after your very heart & soul, not to mention your checkbook!  So, is it possible to lose weight without thinking about it, or do you have to hang a pair of skinny-jeans from the fridge & fill your glove box with 100 calorie snacks that have 0 nutritional value like the TV ads tell you?  Just decide which side would you rather be on...but remember that diet is spelled DIE-t...
-Cheers

-Go ahead & indulge in that Strawberry Milkshake before bed, just do it in the tub with Philosophy's 3-in-1 shampoo, body wash, bubble bath www1.macys.com


-Next, slip into the Frankie & Johnny Blue Dottie Lounger Pajama to help you fall effortlessly into slumber www.sleepyheads.com